It’s a cruel world out there and getting your dream job (or any job for that matter) requires cunning, strategy, and sometimes ruthlessness. You’re competing with others for your livelihood. That’s why it’s hard to take bad things that happen to you in the job search lightly. A rude HR person (plentiful, despite the fact that they are supposed to be “people” people), a candidate who talks about you behind your back, or a reference who screws you over are all things that can derail your employment plans. One thing you could do is retaliate, talk back or complain about what has happened. I highly recommend the complaining but only with close friends and professional confidants you can trust. Calling the HR person’s boss isn’t going to get you the job they may have unfairly denied you or change their personal bias. Bad mouthing another candidate will make you look petty no matter how subtle your insult is. Pissing off any reference can close a number of doors to you.

Tread lightly with all professionals relationships, vent when you need it and then just try to let things go. If you have been seriously wronged it is important to speak up, but you have to weigh first if it’s worth possibly losing future opportunities with that company. Unfortunately most of the time you just need to pick yourself up and forge ahead.